How to regulate your emotions

All of us go through life’s ups and downs. One point in my life, I was so tired of negative emotions playing almost like a loop. I didn’t know how to come out or manage my emotions.  That is when I started my spiritual journey to find deeper meaning in life. I truly wanted to learn how to regulate emotions.

I was deeply touched by profound wisdom I learnt from my Spiritual Masters of Sahaj Marg a.k.a. Heartfulness. My Master explained the difference between feeling and emotion is like fire is to smoke. Feeling angry or sad is completely fine but to flow in intense emotion and being unreasonable is harmful to you. Feeling is pure but emotion is smoke; it carries impurities. Reacting with emotions is creating negative karma. 

Don’t hide or suppress emotions

Hiding or suppressing emotions is not the way out, it can do more harm to you in the long run. You might already know such repressed emotions or unfulfilled , unresolved memories show up as anxiety, anger, depression, muscle cramps, aches, inflammation etc. Negative emotions such are all lower vibrations that create blocks in the energy body that will manifest as disease in our physical existence. We need to take care of our emotions and resolve them and maintain higher vibrations.

In Traditional Chinese medicine, they explain how emotions can impact physical health

  • Excessive Anger can harm the liver
  • Excessive Fear can harm the kidney
  • Excessive Joy or excitement can harm the heart
  • Long standing Sadness and grief can harm the lungs
  • Excessive Worry harms the spleen

Here is the research study that proves mind body interaction based on Asian medicine.

How can we regulate our emotions and be centered?  

Daaji beautifully explains 

“ Meditation ultimately brings you to your centre. You then have inner guidance all the time,  and it speaks to you, especially when things are wrong. When you have a pure heart, the inner radar is very powerful”

This is exactly what I have observed in my practice. I became more self aware. I was able to see within myself, all my flaws, my complexities. Every time I was not right or went a little overboard, my heart’s inner guidance alerted me. For example judging someone with assumptions or preconceived notions always blocks our consciousness from seeing the real picture. Engaging in negative self talk or worse finding fault in others. There are plenty of emotional excesses in all of us. More energy we give to the negative emotion deeper the impression it is creating in our subconscious. We need to cultivate moderate emotions.

How to cultivate moderate emotions?

Rev. Ram Chandra of Shahjahanpur, Spiritual Master and founder of Sahaj Marg meditation practice used to say  “To cultivate moderation we have to pay special attention to both the internal and external ways of life.”   If you want to make changes to your inner attitudes, we need to observe how we deal with others and ourselves, reflect on yourself and respond with love. 

Daniel Goleman, best known for writing on Emotional Intelligence. He says Emotional Quotient (EQ) is all about how you manage your emotions and your relationships.  Emotional Intelligence (EQ) matters twice as much as IQ. IQ might get you hired but EQ is what that gets you promoted as a leader. Highly recommend you to read his bestseller Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. In his bestseller he spoke how we need to work on our self awareness, self motivation, empathy and social skills. Working on these skills will help you succeed in life.

As we are now more awakened and aware of how emotions can take control of our lives, let us now focus on how to rise above our emotions.

Meditation is the mantra for mind regulation and self growth. And here are 5 proven strategies that I learnt from Spiritual Masters that can help you to regulate your emotions

5 proven strategies how to regulate your emotions


Meditation brings self awareness and deeper understanding of your emotions. It gives you the ability to observe your emotions without judgement or trying to get rid of it. Emotions are linked to our primitive core of our existence. It is a very natural process. While some emotions can be managed and addressed easily, others can be very sharp and intense. They come so fast on we might not be able to control the impulse. For all types of emotion 80/20 rules apply. 20% of your internal conflict results in 80% of emotional outbursts. Focus on understanding the root cause of your problems, accept the problem and don’t brush them off. Now the Meditate to seek a solution, your inner guidance will show you the way out. Acceptance brings in peace and restores emotional well being.

2.Art of Pausing

Introduce an intentional pause whenever you are faced with negative emotion. Just before it takes over you, just pause. Turn your attention into your body, observe your breath. Feel it going faster than normal. Observe your heart beat, it is beating fast. Slowly take a deep breath in and release through your mouth. Take another deep breath in and release through your mouth. Repeat a few more times until you feel calmed down and relax. Bring awareness to be completely in the present moment. Now that you feel more centered, you have the choice to respond and not react. At first, it was so difficult, I missed to pause so many times. But every time I missed, I was motivated and my inner radar became more alert. After 7-8 episodes I was able to get a handle. I paused when I had a negative impulse, I was able to tune into my body bringing awareness into the present moment. In no time I was able to shift into a more calmer and centered being. I was able to express my feeling without any emotional drama. I was completely in control over my emotions. This has given me a new freedom to express and not feel burdened with emotions. Please be patient and compassionate to yourself. It takes practice to train your mind. Slowly but surely we will be able to master them.


Treat others as you would want to be treated. Meditation can help cultivate compassion and tolerance in your life. You will be empathic in nature to put yourself in the other person’s position and think. You may be able to appreciate different points of views and not get annoyed easily. Slowly you will be able to overcome the stronghold of negative emotions. 

4.Release and let go 

You need to wholeheartedly have an intention to release the emotion that is no longer serving you. Why do you need to release? You need to release the stuck energy so that you don’t make negative karma again. You can let go in many ways, writing in a journal, talking out to your friend, meditating with an intention to release and prayerfully let go. In Heartfulness there is a beautiful technique of releasing, purging negative tendencies at the end of the day called “Cleaning”. This practice is pretty effective. It’s based on Sankalpa or “power of suggestion” and visualization. You imagine a sacred current of divine light from the Source entering the heart,  filling every cell of my body and removing the impressions and purifying from within. This has so far helped me in my journey to release any heavy emotion. Allowing the Divine to transmute the energies and trusting the process that any negative emotion I might have entangled with has been released and purity is restored. It is only your belief and willingness to release makes it possible. 


This is super important that completes the release process. Holding negative emotion against someone for life, creates an energy block in your life too. Sometimes it might not be easy to forgive, just let God do justice. When you feel right, let go. Similarly, if you feel you have done wrong and hurt someone and you are feeling guilty but haven’t been able to apologize. Do it now, don’t wait for a time to come. It releases negative Karma instantaneously and restores balance in your energy body. In Heartfulness practice,  we have a nightly routine to seek forgiveness from God for any mistake we have done with or without knowledge and committing not to release it again. I have heard of such practices across many cultures in the world. Our ancestors knew that nature is keeping  our Karmic account and science behind how to release energy blocks. It is with a pure heart and intention when you willfully seek, you will receive. 

Practicing these suggestions regularly, you will be able to bring significant shifts and experience greater freedom and wellbeing. It will broaden your perspective & expand your consciousness. Totally worth it!

Thank you for your time. Hope you found these suggestions useful. Please let me know your comments. You can also watch the video below or on YouTube channel  TLVTALKS. Don’t forget to subscribe!

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